we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
