were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
