First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
