Define "chronic" masturbator.
do herpes really smell.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
