one two three fourrrrnication!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
