So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm really busy with my period
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