No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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