Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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