what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
