id be glad to
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
