Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
