Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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