Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
