Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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