In the future we'll all be gay
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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