dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
