she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
