Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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