he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
