the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it's like iHOP with fire
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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