Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
