i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
