so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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