I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
