Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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