Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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