haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
