Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize