i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i now understand why vodka
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