Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
