Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
