Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
