Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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