dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
