So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
MIDGETS
????
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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