Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
