why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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