So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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