Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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