kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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