how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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