Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
