idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
