dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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