How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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