The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
