you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
