Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize