IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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