My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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