I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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