32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
