come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
