I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
