Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize