I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
