video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
