VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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