i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
