drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
