THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Randomize
